South Park

Butters and the new kid tend to a "dying" Cartman in "South Park: The Stick of Truth."

Ubisoft

It's hard to ask for more fan service from a game that feeds its players so much, even Cartman would beg for mercy.

But I'm going to anyway. Here are the five things from Trey Parker and Matt Stone's show that I most would have liked to see included in the fantastic "South Park: The Stick of Truth."

Kanye West: Maybe "South Park's" most resonant caricature, at least in its recent years, West would have been a blast to fight — with his posse, in his gay fish form, whatever. Besides, there's probably no shortage of players who'd love to inflict turn-based pain on West between Auto-Tune attacks that incite rage and hobbit Kim Kardashian make-out sessions that leave the New Kid retching.

"World of Warcraft": "The Stick of Truth" rips into modern gaming plenty, making pooping a quick-time event and pointing out how stupid a person would have to be to record audio logs in the middle of some life-threatening catastrophe. But arguably the most famous game-based episode of "South Park" — "Make Love, Not Warcraft" — gets no play. Which is too bad. I was looking forward to pwning noobs, then feeling like a jackass for using those very stupid words.

Anything from Imagination Land: It's probably a Pandora's box of intellectual property law, but it would have been awesome to make even a pit stop in that magical place populated by famous characters from film, TV, comic books and more. Luke Skywalker, Freddy Krueger, the Cavity Creeps — I can't even imagine all the possibilities. (Get it? Because it's called — nevermind.)

Mecha-Streisand, Scuzzlebutt and Cthulhu: When I heard the new "South Park" game would be a turn-based RPG, I began wondering who could be the Ruby Weapon to its "Final Fantasy VII." These towering fiends fit the bill. It's not that they're essential parts of "South Park" history, but they might have provided some challenge in a game whose most difficult boss is Al Gore. But hey, that slide show attack? Brutal.

Coon and Friends: Aside from some visual callbacks in closets and other places — as well as Butters' Professor Chaos attack — the boys' superhero alter egos are nowhere to be found in "The Stick of Truth." Hopefully that's because Parker and Stone are saving Coon, Mysterion and all the rest for DLC — or, better yet, a sequel. Go ahead, you guys — I can wait until 2019.

Lake Life Editor David Wilcox can be reached at (315) 282-2245 or david.wilcox@lee.net. Follow him on Twitter @drwilcox.

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