Sometimes a show ends on such a high note that you immediately mourn it. Like "The Wire."
Sometimes it ends weakly, but still strong enough that you can remember the good times. Like "The Office."
And sometimes it's such a lifeless limp to the finish that you wish you never started watching the show in the first place.
Showtime's serial killer drama ended its eighth and final season Sunday, and it was as much of a bloodbath as any of Dexter's kill rooms.
Many sins made "Remember the Monsters?" one of the worst series finales in TV history. It felt totally insignificant. Sure, Deb died, but from an abrupt blood clot after being seemingly cleared of danger from a bullet she caught chasing the season's big bad guy.
Which is another example of what's been an oppressively unimportant season: I can't even remember the bad guy's name. Where season one was defined by the Ice Truck Killer and season four by John Lithgow's supernaturally creepy Trinity, this season was aided none by the very late introduction of Dr. Vogel's son, Oliver Saxon (I looked it up). Worse, his "neglected brother" relationship to Dex just didn't materialize thematically like the ties that made the Ice Truck Killer and Trinity proper foes. Saxon was just some guy.
In the finale he got caught, Dexter killed him with a pen, and that was that. We were teased by the possibility of seeing Batista and Quinn finally realize Dexter's murderous side when they questioned him about Saxon's death — a reaction "Dexter" fans have dreamed of seeing since season one — but no, they're just morons. And was Masuka even in this episode?
Just as stupid was the staff of the hospital Dexter waltzed into so he could unplug Deb from life support, and waltzed out of carrying her body to lay into his conveniently nearby-parked boat. Sure, there was a hurricane to worry about, but the staff still had eyes and years.
The episode ends with Dexter cruising into the hurricane, dumping Deb's body into the ocean and pulling a Bruce Wayne, faking his death to spare Hannah and Harrison his corrosive touch. (The sight of them living in a scenic Argentinian village only strengthened the "Dark Knight Rises" similarities.)
A bearded Dexter, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, stares blankly toward you to conclude the episode and the series. I did the same back, just way more dumbfounded — and a little regretful about watching this show for eight years, expecting an epic conclusion and getting nothing of the sort. I didn't care who died, I didn't care if he was caught — I just wanted something worthwhile. But no. "Dexter" couldn't even die with dignity.