“Before we work on artificial intelligence why don't we do something about natural stupidity?”

- Steve Polyak


Friends, I fear that intelligence and common sense are following the flight patterns of the Dodo. It used to be that the future looked so bright that we had to wear shades. Now It appears that we may be descending toward stupidity. Just take a look around and you’ll see that every day there is someone taking it to a whole new level.

I feel that it’s necessary to point fingers at all those behind the wheel that are finding it necessary to keep up a texting conversation even though they are traveling at 60 mph. Or am I being too obvious? Besides that’s not so much as stupid but merely flat out crazy. When are people going to learn that a little LOL can turn into an OMG that will quickly land you in the ER?

True story; the other day I watched a driver actually slide into a concrete barrier because the phone screen was more important that the construction workers' lives who were working behind it. But wait, before you assume this was some teenage girl chatting with her friends, let me frightfully inform you that it was a middle-aged man driving a pickup truck. But even after the sparks were done flying from his sideswipe, he, get this, continued to keep texting!

That is about as bright as a burned-out light bulb. But it gets even stranger.

It seems there is a new “epidemic” on the rise and it can be summed up in two simple words: bath salts. Every day for the past few weeks stories of people using bath salts to get intoxicated have swept the headlines. Remember when Calgon used to “take you away?” Well, in today’s society, it’s not just taking you away but it can seriously push you over the edge. And not to be insensitive to those with serious addictions but I just have to call this like I see it. If you are actually considering using bath salts to “get high” then it’s time you started using your free time looking for a better paying job.

My concern is that we are going to get to the point where there is going to be a seven-day waiting list just to buy shampoo while the hand moisturizers are going to be kept under lock and key. How embarrassing is it going to be when I have to explain to the clerk my intentions when purchasing a bottle of Visine because some amateur chemist found a way to take the edge using eye drops? My only hope is that this nonsense ends soon but I know the rebuttal will be “Brad, now you’re just talking crazy.”

Auburn native Bradley Molloy’s column appears here each Sunday. He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com