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"So far, this is the oldest I've ever been."

— George Carlin

My friends, I have some warm news for you on this chilly Sunday. Remember how last month we were all looking for bargains and trying to save as much money when buying presents for Christmas? Well, now that you've created a little savings you will need something to do with all that cash. And here I am!'

You see, this week I turn another year older, and that can mean only one thing: presents! I go by the axiom that "it is better to give than to receive" but how can anyone give without a recipient? This is where I come in. You see, while I will be getting a paper-wrapped parcel it is in fact you, dear readers, that will get the most out of this exchange.

While I may be feeling a brief twinge of happiness upon opening a new television (55-inch Toshiba LED TV), camera (Sony RX10 IV), or cardigan (large, gray or navy, your choice) it is actually you that will be filled with the warm and fuzzy feelings. And I think this just goes to show how generous I really am — I'm willing to sacrifice my own personal birthday just so you can feel happy about your lives by giving unto me.

Yes, it will be difficult to put my special day aside, but that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Perhaps someday there will be a statue erected in the center of town to immortalize my benevolent disposition, but until that bronze is cast I'll just have to remain as humble as I can be.

Seriously though, I've never understood why people don't like celebrating their birthdays as they get older. When we were children we loved telling people how old we were, even to the point of using fractions. For instance, I was never just 6 years old, I was "six and a half" or I was "almost nine." People stop touting their age around 29 or 39 and don't really resume until they're in their 80s. Even then though they're not exactly proud of their age but just smug about outliving people. That's why older folks read the paper so religiously. It's not that they're interested in the news so much as they're just making sure their name isn't in the obituary section.

The only trouble I have about turning 46 are people expecting me to "act my age." I've never been 46 before, so how should I know how a four-decade-plus year old person is supposed to behave? Do I speak differently? Walk differently? Dress differently? I'd love to say that I am finally at the age where I should "know better," but I'm not. Maybe when I have a few more years on me I'll finally be all "grown up." Until then, I'll just be me.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy's column appears here each Sunday. He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com

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