"Bad weather always looks worse through a window."
— Tom Lehrer
Friends, all I can say is that my house is an unwelcoming place at the moment. It's not the fact that it's bright purple with a checkerboard chimney or that it's guarded by a fierce yet fabulous fashionista named Miss Maggie (the puppy). No, the reason for my hesitance toward uninvited guests is the fact that my "welcome" mat flew away this week during that wind storm that hit town.
I don't think anyone of us were expecting the breeze to be so brutal. And you know the wind is strong when your windows start to whistle. It can be hard to explain the weather at any point of the year, yet this month it's as though Mother Nature is playing her own version of April Fools — but instead of just one day of pranks, she's turning the fun into a full season of celebration.
Or maybe it's something a little more personal such as guy troubles. Perhaps she had to change her Facebook relationship status to "it's complicated" with Father Time and doesn't know how to express her emotions. So instead of going to couple's counseling, she's taking her anguish out on us.
Weird weather is certainly nothing new; there can be tornadoes in July, a thaw in January or even snow in May and no one will think twice, but what you don't expect is to go through all four seasons in a three hour period. It's as though Mother Nature just keeps rolling the dice and dishing out whatever weather event lands on sevens. You can look out the window and can clearly tell that nothing happening outside is preplanned. The sun may be shining as bright as can be, but once you step out the door, it's freezing. And then, it starts snowing but you don't need a scarf or gloves because even though it's a whiteout, it's a warm-out too.
It's gotten to the point that if someone comes into the office saying "it's raining cats and dogs" I would half expect to look out the window and actually see a few pooches in a downpour. In fact the whirlwind (pardon the pun) is just getting started. Thursday we saw a small dusting of snow in the early morning which melted and then changed into a whiteout by the time my coffee break came around, and then, by the time I came back to work from lunch, I had to don my shades because the sun was in my eyes!
Well, something needs to be done, and since I'm the one complaining, I guess I'll be the guy who has to take one for the team and have a sit down with Mother Nature and try to figure this whole emotional weather mess out. But first, I'll have to get a new mat. I wouldn't want her to feel unwelcome, because I'm sure if I can't get her to see things on the sunny-side, there would be hail to pay.