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Brad Molloy: Giving a break to the new year

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“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.”

— Semisonic

Welcome to 2022, my friends. I hope you had someone to kiss when the ball dropped and the new year was rung in. For me, I had Miss Maggie (the puppy) to give a smooch to, but when I popped that bottle of carbonated grape juice and began singing "Auld Lang Syne", quickly disappeared behind the couch, leaving me not only unkissed, but wondering if this is the year I should finally settle down and get a girlfriend. At least for her sake. But I digress.

It truly is a new year, and with it comes the optimism and trepidation that all new beginnings bring. Will the following 363 days be when all the wrongs get righted or will the next 12 months merely pile onto the mountain of worry we already have? No one knows, and it's anyone's guess.

What I do know from watching all those seasons of "Law and Order" during quarantine is that the first 48 hours of any major investigation is the most crucial, and seeing that we've landed on day two of this new calendar I figure we had better start examining things before we get in too far. Seasonally, I have only shoveled about 20 feet of snow this winter, and my snowblower has yet to be gassed up — or even run, for that matter. Meanwhile, Hawaii and the Pacific Northwest are experiencing record drifts, so perhaps climate change is something we should take a bit more seriously before I have to unpack my beach shorts before February.

The pandemic is still going strong, and it's only a matter of time before a new mutation is discovered. When it does get detected, I vote we give it a name worthy of the commotion and not a moniker that could have easily come from a "Futurama" episode. Might I suggest something that holds a bit of gravitas such as oh, I don't know, perhaps the Voldemort Variant. After all, if it's named after He-who-should-not-be-named then maybe people might be more receptive to getting the vaccine. We could even disguise the syringes as wands and really make an adventure out of staying alive. Plus, if you get the booster, instead of crying in pain you could shout out “10 points for Gryffindor!” Hey, it's worth a shot. Pun intended.

No doubt we will lose some celebrities in 2022, and yes, I know that it's a fool's game to try and foresee the future. Perhaps it's pointless to be this positive, but I'd rather look forward in hope than look back in despair. So let's not break 2022 down before she's even broken in, because just like in those cop shows, the first suspect you start pointing your finger at for causing all the drama is usually the innocent one.

Auburn native Bradley Molloy’s column appears here each Sunday. He can be reached at lovonian@hotmail.com

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